I know a lot of people. But have very few “girlfriends.”
You know, the kind you’d call if you really need help or offer assistance if needed.
It took me going nearly 8,000 miles away to feel part of what I’ll call the “Sari Sisters.”
Joe and I embarked on a grand adventure to be part of our daughter’s Hindu wedding celebration in Kolkata, India.
I should preface this by sharing that the 14-day celebration, which included more 10 “rituals,” was this couple’s third wedding.
Grace and Jurick were married in a civil ceremony in India on Jan. 1, 2020. Their plans to celebrate locally that summer were dashed thanks to COVID.
A belated ceremony/celebration took place locally in September 2022. However, to complete the trifecta, a Hindu ceremony was in order.
Years in the making, the event was spread over the course of about a two-week period.
My limited Spanish and French language skills work well in North America. I can get where I need to and piece together a conversation.
India was a completely different story. There are officially more than a dozen languages spoken in India and Bengali is predominantly spoken in West Bengal, where Kolkata is located.
Younger Bengalis speak English. But communicating was more difficult with elders.
Not to worry, though. I’m not a wallflower and threw myself into the mix.
I went all-in on the rituals which often included the blowing of the conch shell, considered auspicious, and is done during the beginning of any new activity, such as a wedding, a puja (worship), or any other ceremony.
I learned this the day after we arrived when we gathered at a small shrine to make offerings to the Hindu gods.
Jurick’s mother blew the conch and I joined in by ringing a large bell. I also won the respect of female family members by joining in ululation, practiced in eastern parts of India.
People, especially women roll their tongues and produce this sound during all Hindu temple rituals, festivals and celebrations. This is also an integral part of most weddings in these parts where, depending upon the local usages, women ululate to welcome the groom or bride or both.
I was a novelty of sorts — the only white women in the group — and not wanting to offend I joined in the ululation.
These women, aunts and cousins of the groom, took me under their collective wings to help educate (about the rituals) and clothe myself in the traditional sari.
There was a kaleidoscope saris in every color. Each included an under garment on top and on the bottom which was covered by beautifully draped material.
Grace had five different saris for the week of activity. Prior to my arrival, I had sent by measurements to Kolkata and custom tops were sewn for me.
I had two different saris — one for the wedding itself and another for the reception.
And I needed help getting in both. Thanks to the Sari Sisterhood which included Ruma Ghadge, Banani Acharjee, Sarmistha Bandyopadhyay and Soma Bandyopadhyay.
I only hope that they take me up on my standing offer to host them in a visit to the U.S. for a reunion of the Sari Sisterhood.
