The payday’s a-coming for the Campbell family farm.
That’s what I keep telling my wife, Debbie, and I can tell she believes me by her crunch-eyed grin that follows. Sometimes she starts outright laughing, which I take as part of her good nature.
We’re growing corn and happiness. Not that there hasn’t been setbacks in the past year since I bought a four-row corn planter, vintage 1970s. As I look back, it seems strange that so many unrelated events could be associated with one 40-acre plot of land. It’s been quite amazing.
The planter worked just fine for germinating three magnificent rows of corn, and this year the fourth row should come up, too. Something about a blown bearing in No. 3. These things happen.
Then there was the near-drought that started on that glorious, bright day I planted. Beautiful weather continued, sunny and warm. Even when clouds and rain were forecast they navigated the skies over Lake Leelanau like a halfback twisting and turning toward the goal line, somehow eluding our cornfield. It was nothing short of a series of meteorological miracles.
After buying the planter, I was a little short on cash to purchase a commercial sprayer. Instead, I relied on my deer food-plot model that mounted on the tailgate of our 12-year-old Gator. It pushed out weed-killer in a perfect dome pattern that was only interrupted by gusts of wind.
There was apparently more wind than I remember, judging by the muddled patches of weeds that beat back those statuesque rows of corn.
At least I saved money on corn seed, which can cost $250 or more a bag. No, I mixed in two older bags that were still good. But I should have looked at the label as maturity wasn’t forecast until 110 days after planting. If I had used all 95-day corn it would have been picked in November followed by a payday in time for Christmas.
Now I’m hoping for an Easter harvest with spring planting just around the corner. I still haven’t secured a buyer whose offer was worth the cost to transport.
Payday’s a-coming. All these setbacks might be expected for a Green Acre farmer such as myself, although I don’t wear a suit in the barn nor do I have a Manhattan apartment like Oliver Wendell Douglas as played by Eddie Albert. Nothing against his wife, Lisa — Eva Gabor — but I’ll stick with Deb who looks good and cooks.
But dry weather affects all farmers, from rookies to veterans, as does low prices. You’ve read about the hurt felt by cherry growers. The floor of one apple orchard in the county was littered with Honeycrisp apples that had no home.
And corn prices of $4.30 or so a bushel impact farmers across America.
As you can probably tell, I have fun with farming. I like to think I work a bit harder than “gentlemen farmers” whose incomes come from subsidies and write-offs.
I care deeply about the land, and I’d like to make an actual profit. But my mortgage won’t be called due to crop failure. I question how many other people are worried about the future of family farms in America.
I liken the health of farms to the strength of the U.S. military. Regardless of how many missiles and drones we have, America won’t survive a war without food to feed the masses.
Even a New York attorney in a 1960s sitcom credited farmers as the “lifeblood of our economy.” We should, too.
